Trust and Forgiveness Issues
I do hope 2017 has indeed being your year of new and better things and many apologies that I have not written on this platform in a while.
Welcome back and I continually pray that these true life stories bring you healing, deliverances and grace to make the best decisions for your life, as you trust God to lead you.
With that said; I had just finished working in a glamorous event and it was too late to head back home, so the event organizer had said I could return to the accommodations provided for his event crew until it was bright enough for me and my work crew to return to our various homes.
There was a church in the building everyone was at and I felt drawn to it. I went in, sat, tried to pray and started to fall asleep.
I kept hearing voices, a man and a young lady’s; it seemed they were arguing bitterly about something. I did not want to wake but I just could not take it anymore and so found myself awake and staring at them.
I remembered that these two were a part of the event and minutes before I started to fall asleep, I had seen them laughing, talking together, lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes, holding hands, they wouldn’t leave each other’s side, they simply were the picture of a young couple completely in love. I had smiled at the scene and prayed I and everyone I know would also be or stay so in love with their spouses or would be spouses. So imagine my concern when I found out that within minutes afterwards, these two were set to go their separate ways for good.
They really were arguing bitterly and while the man tried to tell her to keep her tone down, so no one will know they were arguing, she would yell at the top of her voice that she did not care who knew and she was truly done with him and his ways.
I hadn’t counseled in a while and thought to mind my business like the other person who was in the church was doing very well, but I truly felt stirred in my spirit to say something.
Praying in my heart, I walked over to the young couple and begged the lady and man to seat down so we can all discuss things.
The lady ‘Femi’ was still upset at ‘Dayo’ and when I asked why? Femi said that Dayo had left her side with the promise to be back in 5minutes, when he did not return after 15minutes, she had gone around the vicinity to look for him and found him, sitting with another lady, heads bent and in deep conversation, by the pool side and without getting any closer to see if it really was Dayo, Femi had walked away with the conviction that it was over between them.
When I asked Dayo; he said the same thing, only that, he was actually in the pool swimming and he never sat with another lady. It wasn’t him she had seen with another lady. It must have been someone else and she was prone to accuse him of things he did not do. That he had been trying to tell her his truth and she wasn’t buying it.
I asked Femi what time all these took place and when she told me I started to smile and thank God.
Truth be told; I recalled I had walked past that same pool area at about the same time, I saw the other couple that Femi had seen in deep conversation, I even said hello to them. It wasn’t Dayo. I however did not take a proper look at the swimmers in the pool, I just walked past them, so I could not say whether or not Dayo was one of the swimmers and I said these aloud to Femi and Dayo.
I said “Femi, I do not know you or Dayo personally, I only just met you two and I have absolutely nothing to gain by taking sides with either of you. I promise that I am telling you both the truth. I saw the other couple, I had even interviewed the man you thought was Dayo at the event, so I remember him, it wasn’t Dayo. Please believe me and the Holy Spirit in me that I am telling you the truth, I am not lying to help Dayo cover his tracks, plus we are in a church right now. Do you believe am telling you the truth? Look at me dear”.
Femi believed me and started to calm down and so calm Dayo got upset saying Femi never believes him and for everything that goes wrong, she always blamed him and thought the worst of him. He said he was truly tired of all that.
I looked at Dayo and said “What have you done to make this so? Have you given Femi reasons to suspect you of being unfaithful? Has she found evidence (s) that you have lied to her and being unfaithful to your love? A woman does not just ‘act up’ or be unnecessarily suspicious Dayo, you must have given her reasons to, Yes or No?”
Femi jumped and screamed Yes and Dayo slowly and calmly nodded Yes. He said she had caught him being unfaithful to her. Asides from that; he works in the entertainment field and as his career has started to progress, Femi was afraid he would only break her heart and leave her for another who he may find to be better than her. Dayo said he has tried to reassure Femi that he will marry her, has begged for her forgiveness for his past sin but although she had forgiven him, seems to be finding it difficult to forget and she keeps judging him based on it.
I looked at Dayo and Said “It isn’t easy to forget and it is your job to earn her trust again. Show her your love, keep no secrets from her because a woman sometimes always gets the feeling her man is trying to hide things from her. It’s one of the causes of distrust. Also, whether a man or woman is in the entertainment career path or not, Infidelity can arise and in all fields too, not restricted to entertainment alone so it’s wrong of Dayo to judge your career because of the wrong you did.
Dayo, do not get carried away by the attention you are receiving from other ladies. Do not make Femi feel as if she is competing for your love with another or others. Give her security. Femi started with you when you had nothing and when no one except your family knew you, the other ladies will want you for the fame and the wrong reasons. Always remember who loved you, prayed with you, waited for you and supports you, that is Femi. When you decide to marry, ensure you marry for love and she’s a Godly woman, like I perceive Femi to be, not those more attractive women you are now getting surrounded with, So you do not mortgage your future’s happiness.
And Femi; When you decide to forgive and stay with a man after infidelity, you must pray that God gives you grace to forget, so you do not constantly bring it up and judge him with it when disagreement arises.
Also, you need to build your self-confidence; you are not less than any woman because she has more material things than you or looks better than you. Trust God that if Dayo is your husband; no ivy league educated woman, in designer clothes, high heels, red lipsticks and designer perfume will take him from you.
Make do with what you have right now, look as beautiful as you can, dress as nicely as you can. Do not compete, be yourself and trust the God in you to make you the favored one, just like queen Esther and please always remember, you are beautiful in and out and your beauty and self-worth is not in your packaging but in the content in your packaging. Your true beauty is in your inner man, your spirit and Dayo loves you for who you are, so relax, trust God and trust in your love, however, always look for and take good opportunities provided for you,to improve yourself, so you are not outdated”.
God indeed be praised as Femi and Dayo soon reconciled and I pray for you going through similar or relatable trust and forgiveness situation(s), that you find this true story helpful and it brings grace for healing in your life (lives).
Thank you for reading and God bless you. Let’s do this again soon. Shalom!